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I can no longer lead a double life letter : Breakup letter to my lover

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I can no longer lead a double life letter : Breakup letter to my lover

Letter written for a married woman who can no longer lead a double life and wants to break up with her lover, despite the sincere feelings she has for him. 

I can no longer lead a double life letter : Breakup letter to my lover


You must first know that my heart burns as I’m drawing these words. I suffer from our situation, from our lies, from our hidden love that can never break out in the open. An attractive force appeared between us from the very start of our secret relationship. And ever since we saw each other again, in December, we persued this doomed forbidden love. Why? Because the chemistry is too strong and I just can’t resist. The thing is we are both married and the situation grows more complex as my feelings intensify. I need us to be able to give each other presents, to travel on weekends as free lovers do. But that’s impossible. Impossibly good because we cross lines, maybe. There is unfortunately no possibility for a future between us. It makes me suffer because I sincerely love you. And you know as well as I do that we can’t destroy each other’s lives.

I would have loved a free life. A life where we could have lived in the open, exposed our joy of being together without remorse, without shame.

I would have loved our story to go on, to see it evolve through time, to build projects by your side. But it’s pointless. To continue would simply be synonymous with mutual suffering and I don’t want that. I can’t be in two relationships anymore. I’m scared of losing everything, you understand? I can’t take that risk. And I can imagine that deep down you feel the same way. Hopes get erased and buried in the abyss of my thoughts. And I wonder if you believe? In the magic of meeting someone, in a passionate gaze and in the warmth of our smiles? If you believe our hands could have held on tight together? It hurts you know. To leave behind our sighs of pleasure. But even so, we don’t seem to have a choice anymore.

Read also : Breakup letter from a married man

I would have loved telling you “hold on to me if you can erase these doubts eating away at my life and the discord we sow”. But you are no wizard, no matter how much magic you have filled my life with so many times. I’d rather we stopped everything now. I rip out my own heart by admitting it, but I can’t go on anymore. The anguish, the doubts, the fear come knocking at my door every morning. I want to live serenely, maybe I’m making the wrong choice. So be it.

I address you one last kiss hoping you won’t be angry at me. I will never forget you, and even if I wanted to it would be impossible.

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