If your boyfriend is violent with you, the preferred option should be to break up with him (and as a bonus, call the cops), and you probably don’t want to do it face to face, so if you’re wondering how to write a breakup letter in such a terrible situation, read on… In any case, we wish you all the strength and courage you can muster… So here is a break up letter to break up with a violent boyfriend
Leaving a violent and manipulative man : a breakup letter
My love, I left you because you lied to me. The first time you fell head first in your lies was for a simple bottle. The night I left you, you did what I thought you incapable of doing to me. You raised a hand on me. You threw me across the hall. I spent the next day at the emergency room and now I’m about to go to the police to file a complaint. I can’t let this slide. You did this in front of your son, whom I hope will treat women like queens and not like slaves. You humiliated me. Degraded me.
When I think about it, during the 6 months our relationship lasted, I was constantly juggled between extremes.
A never ending emotional elevator. I was reduced to begging for your love. You made me dependent the better to control me. But you forgot one thing. You may say you have more character than I do, but I will never tolerate for a man to raise a hand on me. You did. It won’t do. I’m so angry at you. How dare you? So there you are, I’m going to file a complaint. Against the man I loved more than my own life. Or at the least against the one who violently threw me to the ground. Because the man I loved wasn’t there that night… no that wasn’t you. I won’t ever let you hurt me again. I have to detach because you are toxic. And you are violent. And an alcoholic.
I wish I could help you but the truth is you don’t want to get better.
So that’s just when and why it had to end. I guess a love so passionate and violent could only end in violence and anger. But despite that, I learned something from you. When I see the marks, the bruises on my body, I can’t understand women who stay with violent men. For what? For love? But it isn’t love! When I looked at my reflection in the mirror… When I saw the mess, I felt a blinding anger.
How do these women cope?
Do they respect themselves? Because when I saw what your fingers had done to my neck, the only thought that crossed my mind was that I woud make you bite the dust so hard you would regret your mother’s uterus. And so I swore to myself that no man would get so much from me anymore. Because I gave you everything. And you spat at that by raising your hand on me. And believe you me, you will be sorry. I’m not your exes who were scared of you.
You may be a big man, but I’m tall enough to hit you where it hurts.
I will make you pay. I will make every violent man I meet along the way pay. Every narcissist who tries to control us. At the end of the day they will all pay.
Because nobody can claim the right to make us change who we are, and say we aren’t good enough when we’re ourselves. No one is allowed to raise a hand on us. So I can promise you this : this time it won’t slide. I know how many women you terrorized. I am not like them. I am not afraid of you. No, I’m way to angry for that. This isn’t goodbye, we will see each other again. Very soon.