A sad love letter after a breakup, in which a man wants to express his feelings to his wife who has just left him.
Sad love letter after a breakup : I lost myself in you
You left me without so much as a warning, offering no clear explanation for this brutal decision. As you left me there, I was like a spectator asking questions about a movie in which he’s the main character, or about a script over which he has no control. You knew full well you were leaving me all alone. For years I had only been living through you, neglecting my family and friends, blinded as I was by the love I was feeling for you. I had lost my self confidence and put all my trust in you, hoping for better days. I’ve always wanted you to be happy, it has always been my priority. I’ve done everything to allow you to blossom, and New York City became the goal : so you could go back to school and get a job in a five star hotel… And then you decide to live all of this without me after all. All these things for which I’ve sacrificed an important part of my life… I won’t even be there to see them. I end up alone in a strange city for a reason unknown to me. I end up alone in a dead end job. I end up alone and far from my love. Ripped apart.
The way we met was all dialogue and understanding but I think that some aspects of my personality frightened you.
I would have preferred you to open up your heart and talk to me, I would have listened with care and would probably have understood what didn’t work for you anymore. Instead of that, you thought it better to be a coward and to leave me after a night at the club. I had forgotten myself for years and moving to the Big Apple had really raised my spirits. There had been a clash. The first breakup. I had an epiphany and started putting things into perspective. And we started looking at each other again, in the same way as before. And then, one week later, you ditch me, just like that. And I have the unpleasant feeling of having been played, that you haven’t been honest with me. You didn’t even look back, it’s like you don’t miss me at all. I can’t stand what I’m going through. I so wish all of this had gone differently. I just don’t get it.
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It’s true, I’m sorry for having asked your mother for advice and forgetting, in a way, that she wasn’t mine. But she was the only one I could confide in. I needed to. I had forgotten everything, my priorities, the meaning of life. I had forgotten who I was, what I felt, what I desired. And I also ended up forgetting what you truly desired. I lost myself to the point of dying inside. Unconsciously, I was choking. I could no longer breathe within our couple. I was living in the hope that you would confront your demons and in due time defeat them. But no.
I had to learn how to walk all over again.
Step by step. Alone. Like a child already disillusioned by the darkness of life. Today I have nothing. I’m starting from scratch. With a suitcase and a half in the palm of my hand. And yet I maintain the resolutions I made before our breakup, out of self respect, because I gave you my word.
I miss you. The hurtful words that came out of your mouth have been carved inside of me, leading me to believe I was only a spectator of a relationship based on emptiness. And that was the worst sensation I have ever had to endure in my entire life. And despite all of this, I am still haunted by your face. I miss it.