Loneliness is a nasty fear that binds us to our relationship, by will sometimes, but especially by force, yet it is important to be aware of at least 10 signs that he’s not the right one for you.
We have all, one day or another, felt the anguish of being alone, alone with ourselves. The anxiety of ending up a spinster or simply, to end our lives without a partner whether sentimental, sexual or both. It is often this fear, this anguish, that holds us back in relationships that don’t suit us, that don’t benefit us. We often know what we should be doing, what decisions should be made. But no, we are stubborn. Because even if it’s not really perfect, it’s still not too bad and then again, well, maybe there’s nothing better on this earth, or maybe this “better” won’t want me (…)?
There are times in our lives when it’s better to face things in order to avoid unnecessary tears.
So what are the signs that show that he is not the right one?
Signs that he’s not the right one for you #1 : He abandons you
He says he loves you but spends most of his time away from you by choice. I don’t mean weekends with friends or nights where Snookums decides to go for a drink with his best friend. I’m talking about constant avoidance. He returns later and later in the evening, and as if that was not enough, he always finds a way to take off from home as soon as he crosses the theshold. You may tell him, suffer from his lack of consideration, and yet he makes no effort and is content putting the blame on you. According to him you are a possessive woman incapable of independence and that’s why you’re so clingy. Maybe you really are, but maybe you have good reason to worry about his love for you.
Signs that he’s not the right one for you #2 : Tears are more present than smiles
Why stubbornly stay in a destructive relationship that makes you unhappy? Why hang on for weeks, months or even years to a love story punctuated by fits of anxiety and hysteria? Maybe, a love relationship, in your opinion, can’t exist without suffering. But you’ve got everything wrong because it will never be normal to suffer because of a relationship supposed to offer you happiness and fulfillment. You can be unhappy after an argument, shatter the vase stepmom has given you because Snookums has exceeded the limits and you’re very upset. But you must never be in a state of pain eating away at your daily life.
Take a sheet of paper and draw two columns. In the first one you will write all the good times spent together and date them. In the second you will register all the bad, and date them also. This will allow you to have a fairly comprehensive view of the current state of your relationship and of your heart.
Signs that he’s not the right one for you #3 : He belittles you
Your boyfriend can’t stand the way you dress, let alone what you think. He’s always critical of you. He doesn’t miss an opportunity to belittle you, to remind you of your extra pounds or of your haircut he abhors. Worse, he also criticizes you in public, in front of your parents or friends. You are more like a scapegoat than a companion for him. And that, you can’t stand it! You don’t stay with someone who bullies you around. How can you believe in the love of a guy who doesn’t respect you?
Read also : The 6 best signs of true love in a relationship
Signs that he’s not the right one for you #4 : Compliments are not part of his vocabulary
He is accustomed to never complimenting you, besides he doesn’t seek to please you either. It’s not his shyness that drives him away from formulating kind words, he just doesn’t see the point. In short, he takes you for granted. According to him, no need for spice, kindness or attention, you are the prisoner of his red prison. Yet, you need recognition, especially from your partner. How can you trust yourself, how can you feel beautiful and desirable, how can you feel loved when facing so little consideration?
Signs that he’s not the right one for you #5 : He is jealous and possessive
I won’t dwell on this topic because I think it’s clear. A man who doesn’t let you breathe, prevents you from going out with your friends, scrutinizes your every step, reads your texts and uses your passwords every day, can’t be good. You lock yourself up in a bubble of stress, in a life based on the exclusivity of your companion. You will realize it little by little but soon you will have lost your freedom.
Signs that he’s not the right one for you #6 : He does not communicate
For starters, he doesn’t speak much in general. At the table he doesn’t have much to say, in bed he prefers to sleep, otherwise the television fills his life well. But it’s worst during arguments. When he’s angry he decides to punish you by closing up completely. When you scream, yell, cry to make him understand that you can’t stand the situation, he’s silent, plays dumb and prefers walking out the door. He’ll come back in an hour and won’t want to talk anymore, he prefers to pretend. But how can you fix things if the other doesn’t speak to you? How can you move forward in a relationship when he is scared of words?
Signs that he’s not the right one for you #7 : He criticizes your loved ones
You are allowed to make ironic or sardonic comments about your family. Because it’s yours, and despite all of their small faults, you love and cherish them. But if your boyfriend goes for unfounded, hurtful and gratuitous criticism about your family or friends, I hope you’re aware of the total lack of respect your parter has for your loved ones and for yourself. It’s perverted! What pleasure can he take undermining the people you love the most?
Signs that he’s not the right one for you #8 : He forbids you things that he allows himself
Going out until 5 o’clock in the morning is quite logical for him. But don’t you dare go dancing with your friends until even 2am! You’re the good pet that awaits him every night, the one that does nothing of its days except your job and the housework. Outside of your daily life you are denied an oxygen bottle. No outdoor activities, no outings with friends, nothing. On the other hand, your partner is having the time of his life. You can’t say anything to him without risking a shouting match. Is it really the life you’ve always dreamed of ??
Signs that he’s not the right one for you #9 : He uses your weaknesses to attack you
Just like the narcissistic pervert he certainly is, he has spotted, from the very first day of your relationship, your greatest weaknesses, your fears, your doubts. Very cunning, he uses your anxieties to hurt and attack you. And it works every time. He puts his finger where it hurts and you can only nod. The narcissistic pervert is a dangerous person you must flee.
Signs that he’s not the right one for you #10 : Drugs and/or alcohol are part of his daily life
He is very fond of alcohol and other illicit products. You don’t need an addict in your life. Not only could he have violent or at least uncontrolled reactions, but most of all your boyfriend isn’t a balanced person. He needs to be treated before he can live a relationship worthy of you. The real problem is that in general, these people don’t want to be treated because they are often fleeing from something. The return to reality is their worst nightmare. The thing is you are well grounded in reality and can’t spend your life suffering from your boyfriend’s addiction.