The seduction game has as many rules as it has contestants, and everybody evolves at their own pace, yet we have found that there are 6 stages of a relationship, so let’s see what they are!
What are the stages of a relationship?
Stage 1 : You meet
Stage 1 can vary depending on the people involved and how they meet. There are two main categories :
Love at first sight :
The one you’ve all heard about, the one you’ve all been waiting for, that thing that belongs neither to time nor space that brings the world to a stop and contrives the sun to shine on only one person. While experiencing love at first sight, you don’t truly fall in love with the person you meet, but rather with the idea of a fantasized relationship you could have together.
From reality to dream :
This scenario happens more often (80%) : you meet someone, you identify some of his/her characteristics with more or less objectivity. As days go by, you feel good with that person, and it’s a love crescendo from there.
In both cases, this first stage can be compared to a dream, it’s beautiful and you’re the only two people on earth.
Stage 2 : You’re in love
Your relationship started a while ago now, you’re happy, you feel good, there isn’t a cloud on the horizon. You make plans for the future together : why not buy a house? Have kids? A dog? You seem to share the same goals and all is so perfect that it seems almost only half real.
During this “passionate phase“, you’re so drunk on love that you feel your days with that person can only be happy. Blue sky, calm sea. And so you tend to rush into things : seeing each other often, living together, having children…
But then comes the third phase…
Stage 3 : Routine
Routine can get in the way of many couples when it isn’t accepted by both partners. The real problem isn’t developing habits in a relationship… The problem exists when both partners think that a couple is a natural state and that so long as there is love, no other effort is needed. If you don’t feed your couple, if you don’t spice it up, if you’re not willing to compromise for the other, then your relationship likely won’t be viable.
Stage 4 : Doubt
Your partner’s flaws – that have always existed but that you couldn’t see before – are gradually becoming too present for your taste. The way he whistles every morning, the way he never payes willingly for anything, his appetite for partying… Everything you didn’t use to mind about is starting to deeply get on your nerves. Sexual desire diminishes, you only have sex because it’s expected of you and to reassure yourself, but you don’t really want to and you don’t enjoy it as you used to. Sometimes you even daydream, wonder how it would be with someone else… You almost feel like you’re roommates, you don’t share much anymore.
Read also : How to tell if I still love him ?
Stage 5 : Clinical death
I recently read a paper called “Love and you” :
“If the couple doesn’t react, it will quickly find itself in a critical situation. Daily life and reality take up all the space and the dream goes away. It’s the clinical death phase : two old lovers live together with difficulty and share the weight of the household and of the children’s education : their couple exists only through the parenting economy. Love becomes more of a mime game and less of a belief.”
Stage 6 : The breakup
The breakup is the ultimate stage, the one that proves that not enough efforts were made to avoid the crash. The slightest behavior, the slightest word said by your partner becomes simply unbearable, you can no longer even put up with his/her presence. Negative points have piled up, they haven’t been addressed (or too little, or too late). You accomodate your affective needs with the fantasy of a new partner.
“If none in the relationship makes the effort to plant little dream seeds in each other’s affection pot, the couple’s end is near”.