How to stop loving someone is a difficult question, and often you will hear that love can’t be controlled, but we however believe it might altogether not be so true and present you 4 ways to achieve it!
How do you stop loving someone?
Wether you underwent a difficult breakup or suffered from unrequited love, the moment has now come for you to stop loving someone.
You feel like it won’t ever be possible, your love is just too strong, too intense for you to imagine just for one second that your heart could forget him one day.
And that is precisely your first mistake!
How do you stop loving someone? Personal development exercises
Have you seen the Netflix documentary called “The Secret“? I have to admit it’s resolutely out there! It however addresses a subject that is important for this article : the laws of attraction.
First of all, in order to stop loving someone, you are going to have to make positive statements.
Positive statements (or negative ones about the person you don’t want to love anymore)
Creating positive statements has a very high emotional and intellectual impact. The idea is to feed suggestions to your brain that will then induce behavioral rections.
I know it can sound crazy, but it really works if you do it regularly over a long stretch of time! It requires energy, because it isn’t about just repeating a sentence, it’s more about really visualizing and believing it. Each statement must ideally be repeated twice a day (morning and evening).
Read also : How to make your ex regret leaving you
So the idea is to repeat negative statements to yourself about the person you want to stop loving, and positive statements about you without that person!
Visualization to stop loving someone
The idea is to create positive mental images in order to modify a habit or to reach a goal. By using visualization, you will create your own desires using only your mind.
Just as with positive statements, you will have to create negative visualizations about the person you don’t want to love anymore and positive visualizations about you without that person!
You don’t want to love him anymore :
Visualize yourself without him, alone, and truly happy (the first few tries will be difficult but you’ll get there eventually. Really it’s a form of meditation).
Visualize yourself with another man, truly happy.
Visualize him as ugly, uninteresting.
Visualize all your fights, all the times he hurt you.
Stop loving someone using Love Regulation (study)
Studies have pointed out that love can be adjustable if you implement behavioral strategies to control your feelings. That is what they call “love regulation”. These techniques could rekindle love about to burn out, or extinguish it when going through a breakup.
The researchers asked 40 participants to bring photos of their current or ex partner. Then, they asked the participants to regulate their love by using the technique of “re-evaluation” and to either “up-regulate” (for those wishing to rekindle the flame within their couple) or “down-regulate” (for those whishing to stop loving someone).
Take a photo of the person you want to stop loving and concentrate on his negative aspects in order to “down-regulate” your love.
To give you an idea of the results of those who took part in the study : those who “down-regulated” already felt less in love after having visualized the photo. The proof being that they measured their brain waves during the whole exercise.
How do you stop loving someone? The mistake you make without realizing it
There is a mistake EVERYBODY makes concerning breakups : it’s not wanting to “unlove”. Even when you shout out loud “I don’t want to love him anymore“, in truth, you’re wallowing in this impossible situation. I know, it’s unpleasant to read and you’re thinking “she just doesn’t get it, she doesn’t understand how I feel”. Yes. I do. That’s the whole point.
Have you thrown out EVERYTHING that came from him? EVERYTHING that reminded you of your relationship? Have you blocked him on EVERY social media?
More often than not, the answer will be “no”. And there lies the problem : when you really want to stop loving someone, the first mandatory step is to clean the slate!
Unfortunately, many people don’t manage to do so because it’s “too hard”, “beyond their strength”. And if that is your case, it really means that you have trouble burying the relationship. Deep down, a minute glimmer of hope lives on in your heart and defeats your willpower.
It is that hope that prevents you from moving forward, from meating new people. Acceptance after a breakup is a long process, and it is undeniably the phase that hurts the most. So cry, exorcize your emotions and, once you’re ready, you will be able to stop loving that person by setting in motion the above advice.