It has become almost inevitable that one day or the other, your exes try to interfere in your couple, and when that happens, you’ll be glad you’ve read our advice about what you should do if your boyfriend keeps talking to his ex-girlfriend… So, you’re wondering : “My boyfriend keeps talking to his ex-girlfriend : what should I do?” We answer you now !
My boyfriend keeps talking to his ex-girlfriend : what should I do?
1/ If your boyfriend keeps talking to his ex, assess the situation
Before we begin, I wanted to break with a preconception :
Even though the fact that your sweetheart stays friends with his ex is rarely going to be compatible with your relationship, it might still be a possibility. But it requires maturity from all three parties – and a lot of it : from you, from him, from his ex. Maturity and transparency : if they both definitely have turned the page, and if his ex knows perfectly well he now is in a couple, then the situation can be viable. But once again, trust and communication must be paramount in this kind of situation. And all couples can’t achieve that.
But in any case it’s a delicate situation. When an ex stays friends with your boyfriend, it’s a thin line between what is appropriate and what’s not. And someone will het jealous more often than not. Generally you or his ex. Wether because of the time spent with her/with you, the little things she does for him/he does for you, or the favors he does her/he does you.
2/ Mitigating circumstances?
This friendship between your man and his ex must however be considered in light of different factors. There can be exceptions! For example if he and his ex have been friends since elementary school, or at least way before they started dating, or if their families are very close.
On the same note, context should be taken into account. Do they see each other? If yes, frequently? And what do they do together on such occasions? Do they go out with a group of friends they have in common? Or do they have dinner just the two of them/Do they watch TV shows alone on the couch? I have a bad feeling about the second case scenario… And you should follow your instincts whatever the case may be. If something doesn’t seem normal to you, or inappropriate, wrong, indecent, then it probably is! Even if your boyfriend doesn’t necessarily realize it… So it’s up to you to take action!
Because inevitably, if your boyfriend and his ex get too close again, one of them (or both!) might end up developing new found feelings for the other.
3/ Things to do if your boyfriend keeps talking to his ex
The best thing to do, and it’s also the simplest and the smartest : Talk to him about it. Explain that the situation makes you uncomfortable, and why. Without making a scene! No, calmly. Tell him that if you are important to him and if he truly loves you, then he must stop.
If your sweetheart refuses to listen to you, or to understand, or that he states that being friends with his ex is absolutely risk-free and so the choice is in fact yours. Then either you decide to break up with him, and explain that the fact he decides to keep seeing her is incompatible with your conception of a relationship. Either you grant him your trust, and accept to live like this as long as things don’t evolve too dratically.
4/ Things not to do if your boyfriend keeps talking to his ex
Tell him you’re OK with the situation when you’re not, and grow bitter, and throw it at his face the next time you fight about something completely different… It’s idiotic, immature and destructive for you, him and obviously your relationship. No, speak clearly and truthfully. Tell him how it really makes you feel, and make sure he got your meaning. The best thing to do in this kind of situation is definitely to be as direct as you can when describing your desires!